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Communicating or Connecting?
by Sarah Johnson
In the digital world we live in, it is easy to forget that communicating is not connecting.
Communication is essentially sharing a message or a transfer of information. If you are only communicating, you will feel a distance or separation. You can communicate without connecting.
Connecting is only about 7% words. The other 93% is body language and voice, your tone and volume. It is nearly impossible to connect with only sharing words, especially if those words are in black and white text.
“Relationship problems don’t occur because people can’t figure out better communication methods such as speaking more respectfully or listening better.” According to Dr. Stephen Stosny, “…the real problem is disconnection. When individuals in a relationship are disconnected, they communicate poorly, no matter what techniques they use or what words they choose.”
Connection involves emotion and expression. When you intentionally give someone your time; you make eye contact, smile, show facial expression and you might even physically reach out to them. “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” Perhaps this quote from Maya Angelou could almost sum up the difference between connecting with someone versus communicating with them. Connections are much more emotional and they help someone to not just hear, but feel your message.
Take time to connect with those around you. Sending and receiving a kind text message is nice, but having someone looking directly at you and telling you they care about you or that they are grateful to you, that would feel so much different. Emotional states, such as interest and caring, are conveyed primarily by facial expressions, body language, and tone of voice, not by words or communication techniques. Intentionally try to connect with those you care about. In this digital age, don’t lose sight of the value of true connection, that’s something you won’t find from behind any screen! -
Educators Matter More Than We Think!
by Sarah Johnson
“It’s interesting that so much public debate centers around celebrities, athletes and even politicians serving as role models. The truth is, outside of their own home, one of the biggest role models in a young person’s life is standing at the front of the classroom.”
Here are some undeniable statistics:
- 3.6 million students will graduate from high school this year, and they’ve all been influenced by a teacher like you.
- 83% of students say a teacher has boosted their self-esteem and confidence.
- 54%, say a teacher has helped them during a difficult time.
- 80% of students say a teacher has encouraged them to follow their dreams.
- 75% say teachers are mentors and role models.
- 88% of people say a teacher had a significant, positive impact on their life.
- 98% of people believe that a good teacher can change the course of a student’s life.
- The average teacher affects over 3,000 students during their career.
(Results according to a 2010 ING Foundation Survey)
In case you wondered; what you are doing every day matters! It even has a rippling effect, most of which you will likely never see! The students in your classroom are the rising generation. They will eventually be the leaders of this world and according to this survey, you have the opportunity to be one of the most influential people in their lives! Of course, teaching the core curriculum is at the top of the list for goals to achieve in your classroom, but just think for a minute, about what you do beyond that! As this 3rd quarter marches on, give it all you’ve got! Don’t let the test prep, office politics, hard to reach parents and spring-fevered students get you down, keep the energy and momentum going! Hold your head up high, put a smile on your face and have a glimpse into the future of these amazing humans you see in front of you. Look at them with the vision of who you know they can become, they are the future! What you do today actually does make a difference and it matters a lot more than you think!
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LinkedIn – Why You Should Have It
by Scarlett Uribe
I recently found out that LinkedIn was launched in 2002. It’s been around longer than Facebook, Snapchat and even Instagram. But it didn’t start to become popular until 2007 and only finally reached 500 million users in April of 2017. So the question is: why is LinkedIn important? Why should you set one up if you haven’t already?
Here are the top 5 reasons:
- Showcase your skills
LinkedIn is a place where you can have a “live resume”. You can link your work experience direct pages as well as add skills.
- Get notified of open positions quickly
Using your previous work experience, profile and interests, LinkedIn will recommend open job positions.
- Network! Network! Network!
One of the most important things you can do when beginning your professional career is to network and connect with anyone and everyone on LinkedIn. These connections can help you in unexpected ways in the future. Don’t miss a chance to connect with those who can share their knowledge and experience with you.
- Applying for jobs is a two way street
When you are looking for a new position, make sure that you research the company! Not all positions and organizations are a right fit for you. “If the company knows what it’s doing, you should get a good, solid feel for its culture and its people to make sure it’s a fit for you before diving into the interview process or accepting a job” (TopResume).
- Build your personal brand
This is the chance you get to show and tell others why they should hire you, what makes you different and get you on the map. A professional headshot and a powerful LinkedIn summary can make a huge impact when recruiters and future employers search you on google.
Below are some links to article you might find useful when setting up your LinkedIn:
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How to Spice Up Your Resume!
by Amanda Bursach
- Use a common, clean font!
Times New Roman or Arial are always great options.
- Spell check/and fix mistakes
Proof-read all writing before saving your document to avoid grammatical or spelling errors.
- Add LinkedIn profile
Have a LinkedIn profile? Attach the link!
- Update your skills section, include any new skills you have developed recently.
Before applying for a new job, update your resume with the skills you developed from your most recent employment.
- Read it out loud
Read your resume out loud to a friend or family member to check for fluency and coherence.
- Emphasize results rather than responsibilities
What were you successful at? Focus on the result and your successes rather than what your
responsibilities were.
- Relate your accomplishments specifically to the job you are applying to
How do your skills from your previous experiences relate to the position you are applying for?
- Use power words
Examples of power words are: Attained, Accomplished, Overcame, Outperformed.
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Balance Life and Work
by Sarah Johnson
The biggest risk of an unbalanced work and home life is burnout!
If you’ve experienced this or are currently struggling to be excited about your job, you are not alone! About 3/4 of all teachers report that they find work stressful. That means, between the 4 teachers you may share a pod with, 3 of you are likely burnt out!
There are seemingly endless to-do lists and let’s be honest, there will never be enough hours in the day to accomplish everything you’d like at a level in which I know educators expect of themselves. Most every teacher I’ve worked with seems to fit the “Type A” personality. According to WebMD, If you are a Type A personality, you are likely to be characterized as:
- Driven
- Being a hard worker
- Having the determination to succeed
- Being very quick to make decisions
- Likely to multitask
- Goal-oriented
- Organized
I’m sure you are nodding “yes”, to that checklist of traits! Of course, all of these characteristics are very admirable, but they may also be adding a lot of stress to your life!
The “Pareto Principle” states that 80% of our results come from 20% of our efforts. When we can figure out what exactly that 20% is, we can focus our efforts and eliminate much of the other 80% that doesn’t produce results.
First, realize that you cannot do everything-no one can! Start being more strategic about where to focus your time and energy. Then in the words of our Disney friend Elsa, “Let it go”! That’s right, I’m suggesting that you make a change! Just start with one thing that you can let go of! It’s all part of the work smarter, not harder mentality. Small changes can make a huge difference!
In our endless efforts to find success all day at work, we tend to be exhausted by the time we get home. Unfortunately, those closest to us may not be getting our best. Prioritizing your time and focusing on what matters most will give you the freedom to have time for the things that you want! You spend so much time taking care of others, don’t neglect yourself. You cannot pour from an empty cup. Finding a balance is crucial, otherwise, that burnout is inevitable! The Resilient Educator website has a great infographic (see below) with 5 Tips for Restoring Work-Life Balance! Review these tips and find one thing that can personally work for you, and make that change today!
Once you’ve mastered adding (or subtracting) that one thing, find another-and get closer to that work and home balance that you, your family and friends deserve! Send me an email at officeteam@behaviorrx.org and share your experience. I will select one person to send a $10 Starbucks gift card!
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Personal Mission Statements
by Scarlett Uribe
This week in my finding purpose class we were given an assignment to write our personal statements, which sparked a 40 minute conversation on their purpose and usefulness. I wanted to dive a bit deeper into this and found a great, easy-read article on Indeed. I wanted to share my findings with you.
What is a personal statement?
“A personal statement…defines your values, who you are and how you define success.”
Why should we have one?
It can help you have a better understanding and view of your values. It’s helpful for reflecting and deciding if your current activities, priorities, and goals are in line with your values. If not, it could serve to help redefine your goals and change your current engagements.
Here’s a look at my personal mission statement for some ideas on how to start shaping your own!
“I will be a lifelong learner, creator and innovator. I will enjoy the simplicity of life while discovering its natural beauty. I will add to it through the development of my personal skills, talents and pursuit of my passions.”
Take some time to write out your personal mission statement and place is somewhere you can see it often! It makes a difference!
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The Comfort Zone
by Sarah Johnson
It’s time to get uncomfortable!
The saying goes, “If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’re going to keep getting what you’re getting”!
We all love to live in our comfort zone! We feel safe and secure, everything is predictable, it minimizes uncertainty and, well, it keeps life going.
What might happen if we break through that ceiling we’ve placed on ourselves? Yes, we are comfortable-but are we living out our true potential? Have we felt purpose or meaning in our life? Have we achieved things we previously thought impossible? Have we done hard or scary things, overcame them and became something more through the struggle? Have you found your passion and true happiness in life?
If you answered “no” to any of those questions, it’s time to take a reflective trip and consider unpacking all the things that hold you back! Most of us are so afraid of rejection or failure that we convince ourselves that we aren’t good enough and we never take the chance to achieve our dreams! Here is your wakeup call: most successful people have failed way more than they’ve succeeded!
But what they didn’t do is give up! Being persistent is the key and you don’t have to take my word for it!
Take the advice from someone who has experienced more setbacks than most and yet also found tremendous success. Albert Einstein is considered a true genius and truly lived and believed that, “Failure is success in progress”. If Albert Einstein gave up after his first failure he would never have been led to win the Nobel Prize in 1921 for Physics and notably be considered the most influential physicist of the 20th century.
Basketball legend Michael Jordan has said, “I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”
As educators, we are the model for our students. We need to show them what happens when we get uncomfortable, step out of our safe bubble and move into the growth zone where success and magic can indeed, truly be found!
It might take baby steps to get there for some, and that’s ok! Keep moving, keep pressing forward, keep trying and keep getting closer to living out your dreams!
What have you done this month to get uncomfortable? Send us a message at officeteam@behaviorrx.org. We can share some ideas in our next newsletter!
Here are a few suggestions to get you started:
- Visit a new place-near or far
- Learn a new skill, hobby or talent
- Try new, different and cultural foods
- Unplug, look up and enjoy the world around you
- Say yes to something you normally would decline
- Make a new friend or rekindle an old friendship
- Seek new adventures and thrills
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Setting Systems vs. Setting Goals
by Scarlett Uribe
Setting goals is something I’m sure all of us are pretty familiar with. Especially this time of year. It’s when all the gyms experience an increase in attendance. According to GymDesk, about 12% of all new memberships for each academic year are opened in January. It’s when new budgets are followed to a T. It’s when the dust is blown off personal development books and healthy, organic meals reign at the dinner table.
But being guilty of this myself, gym attendance begins to dwindle after a month or so. People go back to their old habits of eating out 3 times a week. Books collect dust on the bookshelf again and are replaced by TV remotes and video game controllers.
So the question we all face at the start of a new year is this:
How can we focus on becoming a better version of ourselves without getting burnt out a few weeks in?
James Clear, the author or Atomic Habits speaks on this topic:
“You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems. Your goal is your desired outcome. Your system is the collection of daily habits that will get you there.”
Want to read 30 books by the end of the year? Your system would be setting aside time to read every day.
Want to learn a new instrument? Your system would be to practice a little bit each day.
Want to run a marathon? Your system would be to give your body the right nutrients and train it daily.
Systems are all about the things you are doing in your daily life to maintain the changes long term. Setting systems is the basis for accomplishing any goal you might have, and not automatically reverting back to old habits once they’ve been fulfilled. We set goals to win one time. But we set systems for the purpose of continuing to win.
Check out the following links for more on setting systems:
Systems vs Goals: Why You Need Systems, Not Goals
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What Are YOU Reading?
Apple uses iOS
Microsoft’s uses Windows.
Many cell phones and tablets use a Droid OS
What is your “operating system”, who “coded” it and what year(s) was it written in?
Is how you think, helping you create the life you deeply yearn for?
We change our clothes and sometimes our hairstyles- but very rarely do we “update” the way we think: our very own and very individualized “human operating system” is rarely up for updates.
Want to see the world differently?
Look at someone you admire and ask them (or read about) how they see the world.
Want to earn differently?
Study someone who has excelled financially.
Want to lead in a better way?
Emulate someone’s stories about how THEY proved themselves as a leader.
Want change?
Research what you want to change and what you could change it to.
Books, better said the “best” books, are ones that can EASILY inspire you to grow, learn and live in many better ways: they can help update your own OS.
Here are 4 of the BEST books:
The Compound Effect by Darren Hardy:
How much does a penny become if you double it’s value for 30 sequential days? Over $3M.
The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho:
A story of a young man in southern Spain, driven to sell his inheritance (50 sheep and very comfortable life) to pursue a dream.
The Energy Bus by Jon Gordon:
Read about how a flat tire, the near loss of a job lead to learning Ten Rules when getting on “Joy’s” bus change a man’s mindset, life, family and future.
Can’t Hurt Me by David Goggins:
The “really hard” stuff you’ve complained about trying to do in your life, is more a 3 out of 10 than a 10 out of 10. Read/listen to David Goggin’s up and down pathway from being a 325 pound pest control guy to becoming the only guy who has completed every elite military training program in the US.
Want to do, be, earn, have, think better in your life?
Upgrade your OS- your life’s stories with someone else’s stories, who has a GREAT way to go about thinking and living.
The best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago. The second best time?
Today,
Shane
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Message from Shane
What a great time of year to reflect on so many things, just having passed Thanksgiving and looking at the Christmas season right now. We are so immensely blessed and fortunate to live in this time and part of the world we live in. Never in the history of mankind have a people had so many comforts and plentitude.
Of note, going into the new year is an opportunity to change our focus slightly, which sometimes has us question our decisions and paths, like Alice did when she asked the Cheshire cat when she was lost:
“Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?” The Cheshire Cat: “That depends a good deal on where you want to get to.” -Alice in Wonderland
Where are YOU headed?
If you are reading this, you are most likely an individual who has chosen a path of service or ‘which way you ought to go’ in your life- service to people, service to hearts and service to humanity. The path you are on is likely THE best, in creating more peace in the world and in yourself. Deepening our awareness of all we can be thankful for and give, can certainly be an immensely rewarding decision to bring more peace and fulfillment into our own lives and those in our families.
As educators, you might be referred to as empaths, givers or care-takers or builders, even ‘human development specialists’. Whatever the name, you make the world and the people in it- better. We at BehaviorRx are grateful for you. The world needs more of you. Youth are elevated because of. Minds and hearts are inspired because of you. Thank you for being on this path with us!
Our wishes of peace, fulfillment and joy to you and yours this holiday season. Thank you for all you do and your affiliation with BehaviorRx!’
Best regards,Shane Mosley, President